The first time I ever played this game was thanks to a random sap in #finalfight whom I cannot remember the name of for the life of me. You'd think I would remember the name of the person who DCCed me what is now my favorite game in the Nekketsu series. It was probably one of those people who has one of those nicks that start with 'K' or 'D' that I can't pronounce the first time I read it and therefore continue to read years later in the same incorrect manner that I did the first time I laid eyes on the nick. Bad habits die hard. It doesn't help that all those people seem to have the same basic personality. But never the less, one of them sent me the file.

It was my first time playing an emulated game over the net with some other loser miles away(Ok it probably wasn't now that I think about it, but just pretend it was to make this more interesting.) and I suggested to K-name (That's what he'll be known as for the rest of this article.) that we play some of that Nintendo classic, Ice Hockey. K-name said that he had just downloaded something even better. Technos Ice Hockey he called it. Upon hearing the name I was confused and thought of "Temco", a sports series which I had never actually played or seen but that I heard mentioned by friends many times in grade school and such. I only remembered there being some sort of Temco football game and that was strike one. I'd never played it, strike two (Always hate games until you play them. It makes you look smart and opinionated.). That series having already struck out in my mind (I'm not much of a baseball fan either.) I didn't exactly look forward to playing this "Temnos" hockey game very much at all. If the last NES era hockey game you'd played was Wayne Gretzky's Hockey you'd probably have shared my pessimistic outlook. Trying to organize two morons to play a net-game on Nesticle and breathe at the same time is hard enough as it is though and harder if you don't agree what game you should play. With this in mind and frustration already setting in, I agreed to give the title a whirl.

Luckily, it was not some evil, unfamiliar game interface and graphic style that appeared on my screen, but super-deformed heads and unnecessary violence. It turned out shockingly that Technos was not actually Temco at all but some completely different word all together. I was overjoyed to discover that this was actually what I would later know as a Nekketsu game. The same graphics, control system, and ludicrously unbalanced representation of sport that I had only known in World Cup Soccer and Super Dodgeball were now in a hockey game. K-name I could kiss you!

Nekketsu Hockey-bu --which is the shortened name for the game which I've seen on many Japanese pages and like to use myself-- was the last Nekketsu/Kunio-kun game to be released on the Nintendo. Actually, I should say the Famicom rather as the game never made it to North America. However, Electronic Gaming Monthly (This is back when they had more that two unbiased and unshitty writers working for them.) did have an American prototype which had been translated into a Crash 'n' the Boys title which they used to make a short, rushed and factually incorrect preview of the game in the traditional video game magazine way. As far as emulation is concerned, I have never been able to find a dump of that prototype, But all the translations of the Japanese version seem to keep the poorly translated feel of all the other technos sports games (Whether they mean to, I don't know.) so it really is a moot point and any quest for such a rom is quite unnecessary and squandered too many years of my sexual prime.

In comparison to all the great games that have come out since this game did back in the early 90s, Nekketsu Hockey-bu is not that fantastic. I'm sure you will find a million better hockey games released in the last few years and although they are all the exact same game released with newer team stats, slightly improved graphics, and error fixes that should have been in the game's prequel, they are a much better representation of Canada's favourite pastime. This game is for people who like the hallmarks of the Nekketsu series and if you are looking for the game which holds them all and presents better than any other game in the series, then this is your game.

Nintendo logic packs every ice rink in this game and is easy to spot. It broadsides you right from the get go with a fairly standard Nekketsu plot. Kunio and his dodgeball team are in their off season and while practicing beating the hell out of each other, they notice that their school's new hockey team has been beaten by the only other hockey team in Japan. Kunio takes over the team. Subjugating it's captain with an uppercut, he vows that they will defeat not only the team that beat them but anyone else foolish enough to challenge them. Japan has no other hockey teams and thus you progress through the game by beating various other school clubs at hockey. This situation provides a rich substrate for Nintendo logic as baseball catchers goal tend and the kendo club whacks you over the head with their ancient "Sonic boom" technique. As silly as the kendo team is, I have to admit the obvious truth that they are one of the reasons I love the game so much in the first place. Until playing Nekketsu Hockey-bu, I had never seen anything kendo related in a video game before. There's a DNA strand in all of us that forces us to love a video game --no matter how ridiculously shitty it may be-- if it tries to simulate a sport or hobby that we already enjoy in real life (How else do you explain the popularity of the Tony Hawk Pro Skater Franchise?). My capricious whims aside, The variety in the teams is quite entertaining and prevents you from realizing the monotony of game due to it simplistic controls and AI. This makes the game a lot more enjoyable than the previous sports games in the series such as World Cup Soccer, which I doubt any kid ever actually beat for the simple reason that playing against increasingly fast, pallet-swapped teams gets irritating once you reach one that can beat you. It's certainly not rewarding enough once you beat said team either. Your rise to hockey dominance is much more interesting. Cinematics in-between matches and the fact that you win the uniform of the defeated team for your own use add much more reason to continue playing this game than simply because school work is for suckers.

The climactic win over team Canada in the World finals is hard fought even with constant save state whoring, but it at least reveals a decent ending which is real first in a Nekketsu game. That coupled with that fact that this game amazingly manages to fend off "Technos-flicker" makes this game the best in the series. If it had actually been released in North America or if the Japanese actually knew what hockey was, then I'm sure that this game would have attained the same notoriety among three people on the Internet that River City Ransom has. But alas, I'm afraid this game is lost to the ages and is only useful now as an example of what Technos should have been making for better systems rather than that horrible Mr. Kunio sequel for the Super Nintendo or that awful Double Dragon fighting game that Sharkey mocked last year.